Surreal Music Videos

Going to start off  series of a list of my favorite music videos that have struck a chord at some level- mostly on the surreal-
to kick it off, one of my favorite videos- cocorosie's "Lemonade"

sans titre

The summer sun shines soberly,
Sharp Shadows shimmer solemnly,
Solitude sharply sweltering,
Sweat streams staining
Sobriety's Sweet scent;
Scream....

La Mienne

The passing sounds of cars echo through the empty halls, resonating- the path before is daunting, replete with forks and bends. Each passing minute lingers on like the morning dew on rose buds: behind me I hear sounds of the past beckoning me. Society calls, egging me on to choose.. I recall the simple nature of my childhood; books scattered, empty torn pages of prose and poems that defined each days passing. I seemed to live for others, fearing the scorn of friends upon non conformity to their rules. Solitude with each passing frame, is a welcome breath of air: to hide away into the void of anonymity. Do I seek recognition? I am glad to realise that it is not the case, for why would I want to be the object of society's obtuse scales of judgement. Public mouring they say, obsessive they called, strange- are we all mourning for each passing wake of life, trying to be something that we are not? The realisation that we are foolishly wading through the swamp and derelict waste that threatens to engulf us, is but a fleeting moment of relief. The dust settles, and yet, in a dark corner, I seem to await the knocking gables of acceptance and the open arms of friends. Upon this new found darkess that seemingly guides me, I welcome you with arms wide stretched. I seek nothingness... I seek the void, the tiny pocket universe within which I could just be ME...

Dragonfly Dreams

Dragonfly Dreams

A journey to Eden…

Is this EDEN?

Eden itself is a journey. A journey into unknown waters and untold territories. A journey, into the mind.

The road to my Eden starts in Lyme Regis, on the Jurassic Coast to the South of England. It is here that, in addition to fond memories of cream teas coupled and fossil hunts that I managed to get a glimpse of what could be Eden.

I see a large boat moored off the Cobb. The Cobb itself, has now mutated to house the HMS Ark Royal, the once proud Flag ship of the Royal Navy- ironically a victim of not a traditional war, but an economical one that the world is now waging.

It is here that the journey begins, to the edge of the world, to the place that is least habited by us Humans- Greenland. Every two months, the Ark Royal begins an eight day voyage to the Greenland Coast- the decks that were once landing strips for aircraft, now an open camping zone – mirroring the colourful houses that dot Greenland. The massive hangars, are now houses a zoo of endangered species almost like the Ark of biblical lore.

Once there, we witness one of natures most awe-inspiring visual treats, the iceberg- massive mountains of ice that are floating around in the seas. Fear, awe, terror, intrigue, wonder- a myriad of mixed emotions will overflow as the Ark Royal prepares for its ritualistic firing of the tuglines- into these frozen behemoths.

At the same time, the longboats are then lowered and a chosen few will embark on a fishing journey… where the catch are these icebergs- with hemp nets woven on carbonfibre nets. The experience in tugging these frigid giants as they groan and rumble is one that cannot be described in words.

Another boat will leave, and should  you wish to go on it, you will discover that in exchange for the iceberg, the coast is wrapped with a shiny insulating material- to protect the coast from further degradation. As the sun shines on the frozen coast’s new skin, the landscape becomes alien, ethereal even, against the backdrop of the cold blue translucent ice.

Another six days pass, and you will return to Lyme, with the iceberg in tow, docking with the now extended arm of the Cobb. Like ants, an army of technicians and artists begin their work on the iceberg, as it slowly surrounds the Ark. Rope bridges connect the Ark to the now fragmented pieces of ice as they saddle back and forth, groaning as they slowly melt back into the sea. It is now that the second part of the journey begins….

Damp, and puddled, you shall feel, as you carefully step from plank to plank, onto the stripped portions of the hull that once was the Arks, now makeshift bridges and walkways in the space between the iceberg.

Ahead you see, one of these lumbering giants- as you hear it groaning and fizzling as it melts under the hot sun. There is little time left on this journey, as you enter a metallic cave- and at once you are bathed in darkness. Follow the light – and reach the end of the tunnel, for there may be hope yet. The light shall be elusive, just slipping out of your grasp when you reach it.

Keep moving, follow the light, and at once, you will be bathed in light of kaleidoscopic proportions- but you shall hear no sound.. just your heartbeat and the sound of you breathing. The groans are gone, the waves don’t roar anymore- the light makes you feel warm despite the freezing surroundings. Lie down if you like amidst the unearthly glow- there are blankets abound.

Should you move on, you will reach the pinnacle- but the journey ahead is a lot more arduous- but when you reach the final destination, you shall the horizon extend beyond into the infinite- and like me, I hope the doors of perception shall be cleansed- and everything appears to you, like it truly is- infinite.

You are not wrong, who deem

That my days have been a dream;

Yet if hope has flown away

In a night, or in a day,

In a vision, or in none,

Is it therefore the less gone?

All that we see or seem

Is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar

Of a surf-tormented shore,

And I hold within my hand

Grains of the golden sand-

How few! yet how they creep

Through my fingers to the deep,

While I weep- while I weep!

O God! can I not grasp

Them with a tighter clasp?

O God! can I not save

One from the pitiless wave?

Is all that we see or seem

But a dream within a dream?

But nothing lasts forever, nor should eden, the world around is defined by change, and journey itself is a change of place… True paradise exists, when, the mind loses interest with time and space; and begins to embrace the world around in the way it truly is.. limitless and immeasurable.

Imagine a world where we allow the chaos around us to spread and travel through our bodies- a constantly changing landscape , with the order in chaos swimming around us.

True beauty exists everywhere, as much in growth as in decay. As such, destruction is often the forerunner of creation: nothing can exist without an opposition, just like similarity cannot exist if we cannot spot differences.

Nothing can and should last forever, should it be so, the value declines.  The fleeting seconds of life in the dragon fly makes it experience the world in a different time and space than we do. 

Flowers bloom, wilt and decay, the brilliance of their short lives cannot be perceived without the realization that such beauty cannot last forever and to make most of life while it lasts.

Fleeting glimpses of beauty has far greater impact than being surrounded and flooded by it. Eden is this constantly changing and evolving place of infinite perception, filled with hues of bright lights dancing with my every step.

Beautiful lights, punctuated by shadows forming zebra like patterns on the ground like alternating brilliant incandescent fire and deep glowing lines. 

A world where the lights are brighter, purer- the shadows darker, menacing yet sensually appealing. 

Beautiful forms of varying complex geometry that infuses with glowing light that transports us to a higher transcendence; orchestrated by the infinite brilliance of colours and a never ending horizon that shines and bursts with joy.

Welcome to Eden.

Now please exit in an orderly fashion, before the ground you are standing on crumbles into the ocean…..

EDEN

Truth.... it often hits you when you least want it. No matter what the case, truth is one painful ride. Be it unrequited love, the turn of a friend, or the loss of someone dear- truth hurts. Through the looking glass I saw, and gazed at the reflection. I saw a wraith, a shadow that was weak and preyed upon others for strength till they could give no more. Consumed by an insatiable greed, and an insufferable ego, the void grew bigger and bigger.. it was a void that was invented- like they often say, it is impossible to wake someone who pretends to sleep. This void, was insatiable for one reason and one reason only, it was my own construct, and like most creations, it began its inevitable quest to consume its maker.
Many a few months I was wallowing in my own misery, a misery that I had been the architect of, seeking solace from people who I would be in danger of losing- and yet it was this one terrible loss, that made me see the error and folly of my own ways.
Grow back like a starfish.... the hurting gave me a rush.. I was feeding on the waves of pity and petty remorse - looking for that pat on the shoulder, that kiss on the cheek- when I had it all- when there was this person who was looking at me, with a gaze that would often make me feel like a baby and crawl into her arms.. It was the loss of this person, that woke me, from a slumber deep. It was her last move, the last gift- and that was when I started to see the world around me- and the horror that I had become. Yet to her, I was always this small belligerent little toddler who she would rock gently to sleep. This was the loss I had to bear- on my own, to realise that the world has more to offer and to take the reigns. There is no eden. Eden is a journey, filled with small glimpses that help make the otherwise fruitful journey worthwhile. Eden are the people you meet, the people you have hurt, the people who have hurt you- the loved ones who have left you behind with treasured memories. Eden is a journey.... it is a journey that culminates with death. But fear not this morbid end, for it is only when something you lose something, you gain a little in return. Eden is the realisation that the short lives we lead has no purpose other than living.....
deus sive natura..... god and nature....
My eden, are my friends- the countless little people who have in their own way supported and been part of me, the memories of them shall be with me. Eden, is everywhere- it is what you perceive the world to be. If you wear dark shades, the world shall be bathed in darkness, but with a twinkle in your eye and a shimmer in the brow, the world may be a myriad of hues that dance and sway to the tunes of the bright sunshine around.
I have found my eden....

a note to my 3 year old self

hey there, you blathering little chunk of flesh cradled in the arms of your loved ones- this is your 31 year old self, writing to ease the pain. Look at you, uncaring, happy - bringing so much joy to everyone around you. You will soon grow, and become a loathsome weak willed creature- who for 30 years would have lived a life based on questionable decisions and morals- until today.... for on that frightful day I am writing to you, there would be a loss so terrible that you would seek to question your life, and where it goes. For ever so long, you would be using the support of everyone around and taking strides so fast, so quick- leaving a wake of people that have been bruised and hurt by your every move. Not once looking back to see the faces of the ones you have left behind. But, losing her, was something you never would have planned on- losing the one person who made an art of bringing sunshine into lives, at every step of her life. That loss, would scar you, so deep that you will change- all the years of pretense, of false humility and false pride- years marked by a foolhardy existence that was fueled by your own egotistical megalomania. Years of pretending to be a false intellectual, when all along, it was just luck....
Hey you, little brat, hiding deep within, it is time you came to the fore, and took charge of your life. Even in death, she will choose to touch you deeper than any person has- wake up, little one, the winter has gone, and the coming spring should be one of eternal sunshine. Exude the warmth she has given you all her life, and bring happiness into the people you have wronged and people you have walked all over to get to where you are. You are not alone, there are several others, a lot more unfortunate than you are- but walk about with a smile on their faces.
Look at you, you 31 year old blackhearted soul, not wanted in either heaven nor hell, it is time to choose- you have made a start of a journey, you have tried to bring control, but to what end? even when you change these events around you, the unhappiness remains- and till the very end, you blame everyone but yourself-
Look at you, you 31 year old shadow- you are as parasitic as the humans you loathe, life is not about purpose but the lack of it. It is speckled with moments of joy that make it worth its while. Give yourself some time, take a week, take a fortnight, take a month, take year- but remember to reward the ones in your life that have made you what you are. Remember the shrew, the duck, the lady with the club, remember the stern voice of your mother, the guarded voice of your father, the annoying voice of reason of your sister and the pixie.... go ahead for all their sakes  make a change....
these are the people who have given you life's moments- give them what they most want- and cope with the tremendous loss that has come to pass. That is what life is all about, fleeting moments that you can never grasp on to- a long journey that has no rewards- but at the end of it, makes it all worth its while when you recall the tiny insignificant memories that had for that one instant, made life worth living...
wake up tired eyes, for it is time.. sleep cruel heart, for it will shatter no more- find the pieces and grow it back like a starfish- and wake up to see the beauty that is all around you.

The stars

shining above me,
little wondrous beauties,
shining on burning inside out,
the light of things to come,
i awaken moisten glistening
the sounds of birds singing
the beauty that haunts me
where fore you be
ye stars that shine above me
forever young i seek to be
escaping into neverland
with the stars that shine above me

my descent into madness….

in the mouth of the madness of my own mind- a dark descent into its core. no beliefs, no ideas, only fear… the primal fear of being alone. the madness is engulfing me, and the darkness enters my entrails and creeps into my orifices… the world as brilliant hues- is that possible? when the world is but a grey dying shamble filled with walking batteries that live to serve another master? am i my own master? why do i enter this dark phase and feel no regret and no remorse? the sounds of solitude are welcoming- the echoes of distant footsteps and into an ever receding light that will forever close. darkness engulfs me again my eyes swim adjust to the darkness around me… i see no one, i see nothing, just a blank expanse of the void as it grows within me. fill me says the void… fill me with the banalities of societal wants- fill me with money, fill me with friends, fill me with food fill me with wants, fill me with acceptance- why?
why is this inner voice of the void, asking me to do things that hardly matter- the descent into my own madness is welcoming.. the sound of water.. relaxing me, is there water i hear? do i need this
why do we speak? why do we need this pat on your head- acceptance from everyone, why do we please crowds and not do our own thing ? where are the simple things of our youth? the drop of a dew settling on a leaf, the expanse of the ocean- why is there a need to fill our heads with thoughts of love, of friends, of people, or animals, why do we need this? why are we fucking our minds into believing that all of this has a purpose?
is there a method to my madness? darkness i want it to engulf me- the smoke…. swirling, the lights dancing, is the glass half full or half empty? hah- is there a glass at all?
voices… the voices echo within me- why do i feel this urge to pretend, to be happy, to watch the birds singing?
death, is the only purpose to our lives, the constant- life is a joke by the gods- dying is what we live for- our only gift to our strife in this misbegotten world filled with lies, with deceit, with thoughtlessness. change? what can we change? is there a need to change at all? this fake world filled with fake trees, people's smiles distort into sneers,
food? do we need to eat? why should i eat? whats worth living for? can i experience eden at the brink? a complete change in my life where i try to cling to it? i am going to try… the lost weekend of my life begins
30 days of solitary life… to seek eden.. will i get an eden? is there an eden…. there is none.. eden has died… eden shall crumble just like the world just like our lives just like the last bits of sanity i possess…