EDEN

Truth.... it often hits you when you least want it. No matter what the case, truth is one painful ride. Be it unrequited love, the turn of a friend, or the loss of someone dear- truth hurts. Through the looking glass I saw, and gazed at the reflection. I saw a wraith, a shadow that was weak and preyed upon others for strength till they could give no more. Consumed by an insatiable greed, and an insufferable ego, the void grew bigger and bigger.. it was a void that was invented- like they often say, it is impossible to wake someone who pretends to sleep. This void, was insatiable for one reason and one reason only, it was my own construct, and like most creations, it began its inevitable quest to consume its maker.
Many a few months I was wallowing in my own misery, a misery that I had been the architect of, seeking solace from people who I would be in danger of losing- and yet it was this one terrible loss, that made me see the error and folly of my own ways.
Grow back like a starfish.... the hurting gave me a rush.. I was feeding on the waves of pity and petty remorse - looking for that pat on the shoulder, that kiss on the cheek- when I had it all- when there was this person who was looking at me, with a gaze that would often make me feel like a baby and crawl into her arms.. It was the loss of this person, that woke me, from a slumber deep. It was her last move, the last gift- and that was when I started to see the world around me- and the horror that I had become. Yet to her, I was always this small belligerent little toddler who she would rock gently to sleep. This was the loss I had to bear- on my own, to realise that the world has more to offer and to take the reigns. There is no eden. Eden is a journey, filled with small glimpses that help make the otherwise fruitful journey worthwhile. Eden are the people you meet, the people you have hurt, the people who have hurt you- the loved ones who have left you behind with treasured memories. Eden is a journey.... it is a journey that culminates with death. But fear not this morbid end, for it is only when something you lose something, you gain a little in return. Eden is the realisation that the short lives we lead has no purpose other than living.....
deus sive natura..... god and nature....
My eden, are my friends- the countless little people who have in their own way supported and been part of me, the memories of them shall be with me. Eden, is everywhere- it is what you perceive the world to be. If you wear dark shades, the world shall be bathed in darkness, but with a twinkle in your eye and a shimmer in the brow, the world may be a myriad of hues that dance and sway to the tunes of the bright sunshine around.
I have found my eden....