The emptinesss beckons me

As darkness embraces,

Gripping me,

Awaken... awaken from slumber deep!

Cold hard grasp,

Pulling me deeper,

The warmth draining,

The mist ebbing,

Darkness engulfing,

Struggling to break free,

Realising my captor is but me...

Sweating,

Screaming,

Sweltering,

The cold harsh meadows beckon,

Deluding,

Dreaming,

Dancing,

The coming darkness welcoming,

Sleep tired eyes, tomorrow is yet another day

Sleep unto midsummer gloaming,

Slave away you tired soul, tomorrow is yet another day,

Welcome the darkness unto your fold,

Enveloping,

Engulfing,

Embracing,

Sleep tired eyes, unto slumber deep,

Awaken no more-

For tomorrow is yet another day...

Cat on the Wall

Upon a wall, sat,
A cat as black as can be
Eyes yellow swollen with lust
His tail swaying in distrust…
Looking left,
Looking right,
He sat up
Fur spiked in fright
For, on one side he saw
Darkness as deep as hells maw
Deep as the dark night
Nothing could he see try as he might….
The other was not any prettier
For saw he, to his right,
A world that was white
Looking left
Looking right
With a smug sagacious smile
I’ll stay over here awhile
Though he, his tail wriggling in delight
Why choose thought he
To live in a world needlessly
Its better to be after all
Forever this cat on the wall
Smug sagacious smile intact
He danced oh so very well,
As sudden as the night...
Missed he a step and then he fell….
Smug sagacious smile intact
Looking right looking left….

The continuum

Darkness fell and with it came the loss of reality.. life as knew it came to an end- the nature of its timing debatable, as this isn’t about the loss of life or consciousness- rather the temporal nature of death and life itself... is life a distorted cacophony of what our brain in a steady temporal stream wants to create? And in this misconstrued maligned melange of reality and otherwise flowing along space-time we populate, worrying about the day we would eventually die.
But is death merely another state of existence? In an alternate reality where space and time don’t confine the bounds of human imagination. Where ethics and where society cease to exist and freedom reigns...
Or are we stuck in a constant cycle of events –a time loop from which we can never get out... where we are immortal in the normal sense of the word but in reality slip between the fringes of mortality and immortality forging our own imperfections as gods creating worlds that we slip into every now and then .... what are we,, what is human?
Humans... we fragile imperfect manifestations of our own livid dreams... do we exist in time or are we but merely manifestations of our own imaginations... the creators and destroyers...
And in this debacle of a short temporal continuum of a few decades of existence which may be constantly nested in a never-ending loop of epic proportions, we fill and contaminate our petty reality with war famine drought hatred and greed...
Humans.... we imperfect parasites that are immortal.....
Humans.... sentient superficial sociopaths....
Humans... the creators and the destroyers
Humans.... gods and architects of our own microcosmic myopic misery
Deus ex machine... humans.....
Our own reality forged imperfectly hoping death to be an escape into an altered state... what is hell or what is heaven.... mere constructs of our own misbegotten existence.. which we putrify with lies and deceit with nicities and nurture... with war and death...
Oh for a release into the state of euphoria where normality doesn’t affect, where mediocrity is embraced and genius shunned....
Where we fill our lives with imperfect technicolour dreams.... of darkness and of nothiness....
The coming darkness engulfs me and uselessly i struggle to hold on to the little dredge of reality before slipping into the atemporal stream of unlife, where our actions are bound not by pity and petty morals... deus ex machine....death...darkness...the slipping from one reality into an other... into a continuous state of awakening...
Into a continual loop of mortality and immortality from which we may never escape from... into a stream of consciousness that becomes part of what surrounds us....
And darkness fell and from this i awake no more.....

Le Dieu est Mort Vive L'homme

Incroyable…. This french word best describes the surge of feeling associated with the incredible or the unbelievable… I am visiting London again… this time with no known agenda save to lose my self in the world of anonymity… where I can bask under the mask of the masked ones.
Incroyable…. Also describes the sudden realization that I don’t fit in any known mould-- try as I might, stereotypically un-stereotypical is the axiom… unlearn the lessons learnt and move on, dwell not on the tiny flux that dot life. Capitalism, communism, socialism… all feeble constructs to bring some order to chaos… why- what is wrong with chaos?
Why do we try to fix things that we think we have broken?
Deus sive natura--- at some point in time the creator and the creation become indistinguishable… deus sive hominum? Are man and god one and the same or is that what we are all driven to believe…
Chaos… the very essence of creation.. Every object is a complex iteration of some basic unit, that follows a complex logic, that almost rides near the realm of the illogical… to create a myriad of forms and objects that we identify with. Chaos and its inherent order is what Mandelbrots fractals demonstrate-- simple forms that form a whole-millions of similar units that in its dissimilarity establishes the order… that is what nature dictates, each unique snowflake is a marvel,
Why are we ambitious? What is this ambition? Why do we define what is right and what is wrong…. Marxism, nihilism, communism, Nazism, ahimsa, capitalism, all mere words, isnt it true that like the millions of vastly dissimilar snowflakes, we need all of this some proportion… all about life is change, the very engine of chaos delves into the myriad of individual changes and beautiful inherent balance in the inequality-- why should man alone be spared?
Hominum sive natura- equality… what is that concept? Where would life be if everything were equal? The greatest gift of life is inequality… inequality is change… or difference, without difference where is similarity? Perfection? Life is defined by imperfection…. Instead of opposing imperfection, we should embrace it- everything is about moderation and not extremes, why do we define our lives with concepts dead and gone- of sustainability.. Maybe we are not meant to survive, and collapse is inevitable for the next part of the evolutionary cycle… maybe we have of our own ingenuity stretched our own existence and thereby orchestrating our own extinction..
Sustainability is the watch word of todays world… and the oxymoron Sustainable development more so- concepts of carbon footprint, carbon neutral economy, jargons…. We create problems and then seek solutions… the city, life and the entire fabric of man's living environment is based on want and not need, of desire in an almost parasitical proportion-
Change-- ofcourse, the answer, hallelujah-change! But this is not a change that has to be fostered in the individual alone- but that of the collective… mankind has to change, but will we? We live in a life where we foster our own petty little constructs of our imagination, and live a life as false as our claims and as false as our identity,
Maybe man is the avatar of destruction- the one true parasite the creator and the destroyer… the catalyst of evolution,

Talk- the catalyst of destruction:
Silence is most often an abused, and very misread- not to mention misquoted. Most people interpret silence to be indifference, or even lack of knowledge… silence- is just that you have nothing to say- for it has been said already.
Talk…
Ta..lk…
t..al..k
t…a..l…k

Sickness divine…

From the last few days of this experiment with me, my complete and total escape from my real world to what I thought I had erstwhile connected with-- now I realised that nothing is part of me- or I want part of me. I reject it all- this indifference, this total lack of interest, nonconformity to any rules- I just want to be- and I realised that it means that theres going to be no one with me on this ride, me = me not you…
The singular conjugality is the opposition of what I wrote this morning-
Funnily enough I yearned for company in the past- and now when it comes off and on-- now I don’t know how to function in one-
Escape- why does one think of this to be the ultimate solution- perhaps its in the ease of the act? Or in its cowardice?
Action….
Act…ion…
Act…on…
A…cat…on…

The world around me is in constant flux- trying to adapt to my every move- and conversely here we are trying to adapt to that- how does it work?

And then we talk…
Words, empty hollow resonating upon the natural frequency of creation- talk the harbinger of destruction….

Yesterday in the long soliloquy between man and woman, an interesting topic was discussed…. Are indians corrupt…. By nature-- wow… man judged corrupt, one section of man still reeling from the complexity of a large over populated, pseudo democratic-undervalued nation, judged corrupt by nature, by non conformist; non traditionalists...
No the answer is not in Indians being inherently corrupt- man by nature is- take the millions in this world who have hidden agendas, violence has marred our paltry existence, the coming of kalki is nothing but the advent of man-
An interesting parallel is the death of superman, the comic, that heralded the birth or the existence of the one true invincible super human being, that at the time it was created, was symbolic of the undying human spirit that is by all but invincible… yet we are the means to the end as well…
We are the supermen, we are the kryptonite, we are doomsday…
Doomsday, the fictitious antagonist that manages to kill superman, a story arc that lasted one month, for it was universally rejected, the symbolism totally overlooked, that one has to act, even sacrifice, to cope and survive the world around us and what it pits against us..
Anticlimatically, we have the "resurrection of the Superman" he suddenly lives---

escape….
Es..cape…
e.. scape...

Are we looking for an escape? The only aim in life is to escape-- take the brilliant book by Philip K. Dick, The three Stigmata of Plamer Elderitch, the entire story deals with the concept of escaping reality virtually by taking a drug, to the point that the illusion proves to be real and difference between the two is often blurred.

Escape….

Why bother, escape only delays the inevitable..

Good and bad are only the products of an active and temporary selection- it has to be renewed-- Deleuze and Guttari

We are all pink panthers and the other guy… one wishes the world to be in its colour-pink so that it’s the world that becomes it and to a point that the world and the individual become imperceptible, and the other guy, constantly battling to paint it in blue, so that he in white stands out as an individual… this is the constant battle that rages that manifests itself in the smallest of forms, do we adapt or adapt things to suit us-

I finally got what I wanted from this escape… the answer
Do escapades have answers? They are mostly ways of detaching the self from the realm of the real… the jig and the saw, fit in fit in… no not the right piece… the missing piece is circular and I am a square…
Get up
Get up
Ge tup
Ge t u….

Try.. Harder… harder… fit

The answer is right in the face and yet its not there…. You are not one, you are square….
The world is a circle.. And the hole is another,
Flat the world is, fall not off its edge…
Falling…. Words spoken in darkness… across deaf hearts….
Get up get up get u
You are not one

Stay away…alone.. Lose not the edge..

We are all pink panthers you and I trying to paint the world pink adapting the world around us to the one thing we can perceive and then the creator and the creation becomes indistinguishable…
Sickness divine…..
Vanish from this life of vanishing.. There is more to do, go now your way and don’t look back… you tread on others path-
The wolf man cometh… are we one or many
I am on the edge… held to the centre by my extremities made a part of the whole… i/we/us
We are one
We are many
We re man
Were man